DRAGONFORCE
Take two really REALLY good guitarists, take one really good bass player, one really good if somewhat stupid looking keyboard player, one fantastic drummer, and one, really annoying lead singer - put them together and even with the stupid eighties throwback lead singer you should have the recipe for a pretty amazing live act.
So what then happened to Dragonforce?
In my time I've seen a lot of bands, I've seen a lot of good bands, and I've seen a lot of bad bands, but I have to say that none have come close to being the nut numbingly brain cell destroying, yawn inducing hour long torture session I had to stand through while watching Dragonforce.
Words like "lack luster", "bland", "samey" dont convey how bad this band were to watch, I would actually rather scoop out my eyeballs with ice cream scoops than have to watch this band again, they were truly TRULY dire.
I do not quite understand it, the guitarists technical abilities are beyond compare, and they need browny points for that, the keyboard player, was talented if mildly annoying, the bass player, showed enormous prowess on both bass and lead guitar, the drummer was as far as i'm concerned the star of the show, the lead singer on the other hand was a total tosser with a voice like a very bad failed eighties glam metal band that never quite made it, he showed huge amounts of misplaced arrogance as well, and not the sort of rock fun arrogance you get from the likes of Pele from the Hives, or even god forbid, Lars Ulrik who at least has something to be arrogant about, rather he showed an attitude that made you want to swing for him at every available opportunity, the crowd seemed to share this, probably a good job he didn't crowd surf! I heard him described as a "Heavy Metal Marty Pello from disneyland".
It seems to me, that this band think the recipe for a good song is to play everything full on all the way through a song, with nothing like key changes, chorus, middle 8's or anything to stand in the way of a good widdly duo guitar lead, it was like putting a Steve Vi riff on repeat, for over an hour, someone really needs to talk to these guys about composition, because fantastic guitarists they may be, but widdling your way up and down the dorian scale for the entirety of a gig does not a good musician make.
If you took any one of these guys (except the lead singer - who should be banished to a remote cave in Afghanistan, and have his eyeliner and leather trousers with big silver belt buckle taken away from him, and forcibly tortured until he stops talking in that fake? American accent) and put them in another band with more imaginative musicians, they could do really great things, unfortunately they are all in Dragonforce, and until someone gets some song writing ability and stops using the band as a self masturbatory display case for just how good and fast they are, they are going to remain utter unforgivable shite.
Also .. they had Fans blowing their poncy hair around .... BLEURGH
Review : by Mr Folder yer fuckin arms heavy metal policeman.
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TURISAS
One can only be thankful that Turisas were the support at the Dragonforce gig, really saved the day!
In truth Turisas are a band I've wanted to see live for a long time, they were every bit as good as I had hoped they would be, in fact they were better, they have been hovering around becoming one of my all time favorite bands for awhile now, and this gig has pushed them over that edge into full fledged "this band officially rockdom".
Its such a shame that they were the support, there was far to little Turisas and Far Far To much Dragonforce, (tho to be fair any one song - nay scratch that any one note of Dragonforce is too much).
Warlord Nygard (sorry Mattias I cant seem to get the little o over the a) was an absolute pleasure to watch, and for all the Turisas Viking Posturing, Arrogance was not evident on the stage, I saw good showmanship, excitement, comedy, and compassion for the youngest band member, but never arrogance.
The show itself was stunning with good use of voice overs, and an especially funny middle section with the violinist about taking back music from the guitar gods, "FUCK THE GUITAR SOLO" was shouted aloud, .......... one wonders if this wasnt a jibe at the band they had been touring with, one can only hope so, by all the gods and warriors currently drinking themselves into oblivion in Valhalla I cant imagine what it must be like a for a good natured Finnish band to have to spend night after night listening to a bunch of posturing widdly euro metal wankers day in day out!
All in all
TURISAS - score - plus 100 out of 50
DRAGONFORCE - score - minus 23567
I think the two acts can be acuratly summed up via a few words from each review :
Turisas : All Time Foavourite, Absolutle pleasure to watch, Viking Posturing, Good Showmanship,Exitement,comedy,compassion,stunning, VIKING!
Dragonforce : widdly euro-metal wankers, self masturbatory, unforgivable shite, Fans blowing their poncy hair around, stupid eighties throwback lead singer, really annoying lead singer, yawn inducing hour long torture session, I would actually rather scoop out my eyeballs with ice cream scoops than have to watch this band again, TRULY dire, like putting a Steve Vi riff on repeat, for over an hour, rather he showed an attitude that made you want to swing for him at every available opportunity, widdling your way up and down the dorian scale for the entirety of a gig does not a good musician make, WANKERS
Not often am I moved to put pen to paper about bands these days, but both these bands have moved that in me tho for very different reasons, LONG LIVE TURISAS!
Review by Zombie
